Holidays with My Hobbies & Interest and Something MOODY.....

 皆さん、こんにちは! Hello everyone.

This is AYANE. In this post, I will be sharing with you guys what I have done during my term break before the start of my Year 2 course.  

WHAT did I DO during the break?

Before MBBS Stage 2 commenced, there were about 2-3 months (June-Sep) break after my Year 1 final assessment. To be honest, I didn't spend my time in a great way of optimal revision on my Year 1 syllabus. I have been relaxing and 'ENJOYING' my holidays in my hometown. The main reason behind this was the bad habits such as procrastination during holiday mood. Another main factor that I noticed is the conduciveness of the learning/study environment. When I got back home, I couldn't find much space for it due to having a shared room with my sister, and other available rooms packed with storage items. Unlike last few years, due to SOP restrictions, the Cafes nearby were all closed. There was no choice for me to study in the cafes with the optimal working vibe the whole day there. In short, lots of time were spent on interests and fun. 

So what I have done instead? 

As mentioned in my 'ABOUT ME', I am an OTAKU. Most of the time, I was with animes and mangas. I almost finished watching and reading the animes and mangas that I wished to and used to watch before. ( except ONE PIECE ). Here is a little bit of the list:

1. Haikyuu! 

2. Attack on Titan

3. Bungou Stray Dogs

4. Kimetsu no Yaiba

5. Gintama

6. Fruit Baskets

7. Moriarty the Patriot

8. Kimi ni Todoke

9. Orange

10. Tokyo Revengers

** These are just some part of it. There were a lot more.

The good thing is that I managed to enhance my Japanese language in listening, speaking and writing. Listening and writing down the lyrics of the songs in animes were some of the main ways I learn Japanese. Probably I should write some posts about my thoughts after reading and watching the mangas and animes that I think I gain a lot of life lessons EG: Haikyuu!!. That is also one of the main reasons that I love them so muchhhh~

Besides that, my sister recommended me a PC game, called GENSHIN IMPACT. Unlike other games that I used to play, I don't feel tired of the game after playing few weeks. I think it is most probably due to lots of mysterious puzzles and interesting stories behind each character in the game. It was the FIRST PC GAME that I downloaded. It is much better than I thought of in terms of controlling and hands-on experience. A fun thing I noticed - GENSHIN IMPACT makes a lot of advertising efforts on many platforms HAHA. Like Youtubes, JOOX etc. Almost every time if I watch Youtube videos when there is an advertisement, it would be GENSHIN IMPACT. I am not fond of gaming, but this is a FUN and INTERESTING game that I would recommend others to play. I also make it sort of a bonding session every night with my sister. 

Another hobby that I have been developing and doing during the holidays is MUSIC. I have a piano and a guzheng at my home in Penang. I grabbed the GOLDEN opportunity to play 'them' as much as I want and I could. Other than that, I also took the chance to 'polish' my singing skills. I managed to sing a few songs covers as well, but mainly anime songs or Japanese songs. Well, these are the main favourite music genre in my life. As mentioned above, it is always great fun for me to learn Japanese through the lyrics of the songs at the same time. To me, music, songs, lyrics are AMAZING and POWERFUL 'SPEAKER'. It can convey life lessons, conversation, stories, feelings, thoughts etc. That's why music plays a GREAT ROLE in my life.

------------------------------ SOMETHING ABOUT ACADEMICS ---------------------------------------------------

Despite most of the time nurturing myself with what I liked, I did allocate some time on academic stuff, but...... NOT MUCH. I was trying to explore ANKI flashcards usage based on YouTube videos and the manual. Mainly, it is because I want to find out an optimal way to promote active learning in my medicine study. Based on my observation, I was still on the road of searching for the most suitable/ optimal way that boosts my efficiency of learning. Hopefully, by using ANKI, there could be an improvement seen, particularly on Anatomy and Pharmacology ( which I'm weak at ). Other than that, instead of spending time revising the syllabus, I read the reference books found online related to the syllabus taught, mainly on the Anatomy topics - MOORE's Clinically Oriented Anatomy. To enhance my time management skill, I also watched a few videos online on how others manage their time and making a better timetable template for my life. 

------------------------------ MY GLOOMY DAYS WITH NEGATIVITY ---------------------------------------------------

I had a period of mental breakdown during the holidays. Feeling guilty and worthless due to the mistakes and fault that I did in my past. Feeling unsatisfied with own performance in UNIVERSITY etc...Not just only in terms of study, work but also in relationships with friends and others. It was kinda weird that I had the thought of having NO ONE to listen to my problem or about me. It is not that NO ONE wants to listen to me, but NO ONE that I can trust to share my inner voice. Also, for everything wrong that happened in my life, I thought of blaming myself. From there, I felt alone and depressed. I started to sleep longer than usual (more than 9 hours) and feel like not wanting to do anything including eating. It's just like I wanted to stick to my bed and sleep for the whole day. This similar condition was continuous for up to about 1 week. Fortunately, it eventually stopped after having more interaction with my sister. I noticed that I might tend to get depression. So for now, I am aware of it. Perhaps if something similar or bad happens in the future, I should take note of it and seek help from the counsellor as soon as possible. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So now you might ask, is this the correct way to spend my summer break?
Do I feel regret with it?

My answer is half-half.
I am glad that I managed to do the things that I couldn't do during normal study days. Although it was due to my laziness and procrastination with poor time management, those days with animes and mangas were worthwhile for me. This is because those were what I WISHED and WANTED to do. Moreover, it helps me a lot in improving my Japanese language. Yet, definitely, the time allocation was such an imbalance. I realised the need of setting up a timetable with a clearer plan to make my holidays spent in a more balanced but fruitful way. 

As for the negative gloomy days, I think that it was a sign for me to take note of my mental health. I understand the main reason behind this is when I started to think of having NO ONE that I trust to share my mind. However, not much thing can be done unless I changed my mindset. Hopefully, someday I would have a friend that I really TRUST in her/ him and she/he is willing to lend me the ears. Guiltiness on my PAST mistakes could not be cure fully. Yet, I would have to change my mindset thinking of making it a lesson, not to repeat the SAME problem in the future. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Please don't be terrified of my gloomy days' experience. There are definitely some other people who encountered similar issues. What I want to say here is that stay alert and be aware of any of your friends if they do have the same issue as me. If possible, share them with your ears, and be a sincere but non-judgemental listener. This simple action would help us a lot. Sometimes it is not because we don't want to SHARE our voice. Yet, it could be due to the past memories of having a 'FAKE' listener in our life, making us feel like people don't want and got no interest in listening to us. 


Take the above as an EXAMPLE in your life. It could be a BAD or a GOOD example for you, but I do hope it helps you to become a better person!


Time is GOLD, so Live the life you want and spread the positivity :)